Since I became a mother,
I cannot remember the last time I had quality time for myself
Even my simple hobby of reading a book was already a thing of the past.
All my time evolved
in taking care of the family,
doing the house chores
and of course working to earn a living.
Whenever I get to be invited
by my colleagues to go out after work,
telling them the truth that
I have a family to take care after work.
Not to mention the tons of laundry,
and other house chores waiting for me.
Well, I guess that is all part of motherhood.
I took responsibility of my being a mother and wife
and tried my very best to maximize my time as much as possible.
as years passed by
I realized that the chores were unending.
My to-do list never seemed to have an end.
Even if I try to finish all of it,
new ones will always come up.
and still feel very exhausted at the end of the day.
I tried to share responsibilities with my husband and kids,
but still felt that I have no time for myself.
The chores seemed to be endless.
I craved for "me time. "
And when I say me time,
I only meant being able to do my eyebrows in an unhurried way,
having an hour or so of quiet bliss,
playing candy crush,
listening to music,
reading a book,
or watching a movie
without being constantly interrupted by my toddler
with the words, "It's my turn, mama."
I have been so used to not having time for myself
that I didn't give much thought about that "me time"
until just recently.
After 10 long years of waiting,
my immigrant visa application was finally approved
and I had to travel to a new country all by myself.
Since the agency was going to pay for my airfare only,
my husband and kids will have to follow at a later date
as soon as I can purchase their plane tickets.
And so it happened.
I was alone in an apartment.
Now I can do whatever I wanted
and keep the house clean and tidy.
I can read my favorite books
and do all that I wanted to do with my time.
I practically had all the time for mysel while waiting for my job orientation!
But surprisingly it didn't make me happy.
I was lonely.
No more daily routine of nagging
and pushing the kids to get up and help out.
I missed my kids,
I missed my husband,
I missed my family back home.
I felt something in me was missing.
My kids, my family are already part of me.
I spent nights crying myself to sleep
easing the loneliness within me.
Then I came to realize that making time for me
doesn't mean being away from those I love.
I can still have a "me time"
even if I have the kids around
and endless chores and errands to take care.
I can prioritize and plan.
I can change my attitude and approach towards house chores and errands.
Life wouldn't be the same without the people you love near you.
As of the moment,
I am looking forward that
they can join me soon